MY NEW NORMAL...

So much has happened in the year since I've left...I had two twin boys, got married...in the midst of going crazy on maternity leave-not that I don't love my boys, I do. They have completely changed my life. But now I realize that if I don't get my ass in gear and WRITE, I'm going to be a miserable mother to these two. And it's not like I haven't been writing. Not like there isn't all this shit going on that needs my point of view. As a matter of fact, I'm going to attach something I should have posted a year ago-when the re-election campaign started...I really have to start over. I'm in "recovery" right now, reading the artist's way-by Julia Cameron. Due to childcare issues, I've only been able to do the morning pages, which I've found helpful...but I'm treating this blog as part of my recovery process, and I'm starting over... I have to try to get on this blog as I'm doing now-while the boys are sound asleep. I know, it sounds simple enough, but these kids are unpredictable. They both could wake up right now and that's it for me. And due to my stubborn, possessive/obsessive maternal make-up, I refuse to call grandma downstairs for help because this is also "me" time. I hear stirring, so I will have to make this quick. I want to apologize to myself and my readers for being MIA. I let my inner turmoil take over my life. So many things to discuss...but I suppose I have time. I can't get into it all today-but let me start by saying this: I had a loooong blog written yesterday about how the adjustment to parenthood was driving me crazy, with all of these unexpected visitors, intruding family members and just trying to adjust to this new life-but it got lost. Good thing too! Hubby wouldn't have been pleased... So, my goal is to keep relevant, and to exercise my writing skills. I hear my inner critic scoffing. (My inner censor, let's call her Cassie- thinks she's funny-I know she's a woman, and I've named her Cassie after the blond, blue-eyed girl I worshiped in grade school. I wanted her to like me, and I wanted to be just like her. She was pretty and smart and good at EVERYTHING and of course, she had a following. That's what I want... and wouldn't it be great if my blog could give me that? Shut up, Cassie, it's possible. You see, things may not come easily to me-I love writing, but I can't just get up in the morning with perfect prose falling out of my mouth and off my fingertips, like some people. I really have to work at it. And that scares me because I really want to succeed at this. So as my blog beckons you: please, come to the writer's block, I want to share ideas, opinions on everything from politics to peanuts. Whatever that means. Whatever I try to make sense of in this world, I want to put on the blog. In the meantime, maybe I can make some friends. Ewww...that does sound a bit desperate. I guess Cassie had a point when she told me in that flippant way of hers, "not to try so hard." It's true. If I've learned anything at all from my years struggling in the "real world," its that desperation is a huge turn off. Anyway. I have to go-the kids are stirring. They tend to do this whenever I have things to do. God Bless them. Zachary and Noah-they are the reason for all of this... O.k. and as promised, stay tuned for my next entry: it was written a while back during the early campaigning for president when Newt Gingrich was still in the race. He made a divisive statement that I found interesting. It still applies today, I think as the republican party tries to regroup from this elections losses.... Thanks for hanging out! See you soon