-Random fact: This pic was taken at Notre Dame Church in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. I didn't know it at the time but I was pregnant with the boys on this trip. Ray and I were planning to start a family but it was still pretty far from my mind during this trip, even though I took the time to pray for guidance on the path my life might take...
And I'm still praying. I'm still bending surprised I haven't snapped yet. In previous posts I explained my frustrations at being a first time moom to these unbelievable boys and all of the intrusions on my privacy that came with them. I was pretty harsh on my in-law's and my circumstances. I realized that I'm a bit lonely...I know, I know...duuuuuh...it's to be expected considering the only friends I can talk to are two six month olds who smile even though I'm explaining how frustrated I am at their incessant crying and that I'm going to throw them out the window. It really doesn't help. I could talk to mom-in-law, but she's elderly and I find myself agreeing with whatever she says to be polite. Thankfully most of the things we discuss we agree upon but, sometimes I want to curse and stuff, and tell her how frustrating the kids make me sometimes but she'll take it as a sign of weakness and of course, her grandchildren are angels. They can do no wrong.
Yes, in the grand scheme of things my kids are great. They really don't cry unless they are tired, irritable, hungry or if they are left alone. Also, they are beginning to teethe, so I assume they are fussy about that too. ( I must admit, I expected worse) I am pretty good at catching all of these things before it escalates but these days the boys personalities are developing and man, Zachary hates to be left alone for too long. This morning, I was trying to get a little bit of a work out, (another frustration to add to my growing list) his father was getting ready for work so we put him in the crib assuming he'd fall right asleep since he was tired. He barely slept the night before. Not so. As soon as I put him in the crib and left the room the whining started. It crescendoed and didn't stop until about an hour later when I broke down, came back into the room and picked him up and put him in the living room where he could see me. His father tells me to just leave him alone. He thought the boy would fall asleep shortly because he had just been fed.
"Leave him," he tells me. "He knows you'll come running the minute he does that. He'll be fine. Go work out."
I did...for about five minutes until the crying became unbearable. And this is becoming the routine these days. He just won't fall asleep. Then, he wakes his brother Noah up. Noah is pretty calm. He doesn't get all whiny when mom or dad leaves the room. He's content as long as he has something to do. When I left the room, Zach was wailing and Noah was sleeping. Now, Noah was awake because his brother woke him. I feel bad for my little Noah because I'm always going to Zachary to calm him down, but Noah's a good boy. He always gives me this knowing smile. Like he's giving me permission to do what I have to do. But this is short-lived. At the time of writing, Zach begins wailing again. I look down at him and say a few words and he stops and smiles, for a second. I start writing again...the wailing starts until I pick him up and he starts to giggle with glee. This is a problem. Noah is not so accomodating this time. He starts to object to my holding Zach but then he manages to occupy himself-in fact he has just gave me a reassuring smile, though it was underscored by a brief whine. A warning...
Needless to say Zach sits in my lap as i type with one finger-for the moment he is subdued and drooling all over me-gross. but now, Noah has had enough. And so have I. Zach is starting up again and I feel like throwing both of them in the hamper. (Noah has joined his brother in the symphony of tears) Maybe their hungry-it looks about that time. Once again I beg forgiveness for any errors. I have no time to proof read. Only write.
Sorrll about you now. Why the hell won't you stay asleep?
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Symphony of Tears
-Random fact: This pic was taken at Notre Dame Church in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. I didn't know it at the time but I was pregnant with the boys on this trip. Ray and I were planning to start a family but it was still pretty far from my mind during this trip, even though I took the time to pray for guidance on the path my life might take...
And I'm still praying. I'm still bending surprised I haven't snapped yet. In previous posts I explained my frustrations at being a first time moom to these unbelievable boys and all of the intrusions on my privacy that came with them. I was pretty harsh on my in-law's and my circumstances. I realized that I'm a bit lonely...I know, I know...duuuuuh...it's to be expected considering the only friends I can talk to are two six month olds who smile even though I'm explaining how frustrated I am at their incessant crying and that I'm going to throw them out the window. It really doesn't help. I could talk to mom-in-law, but she's elderly and I find myself agreeing with whatever she says to be polite. Thankfully most of the things we discuss we agree upon but, sometimes I want to curse and stuff, and tell her how frustrating the kids make me sometimes but she'll take it as a sign of weakness and of course, her grandchildren are angels. They can do no wrong.
Yes, in the grand scheme of things my kids are great. They really don't cry unless they are tired, irritable, hungry or if they are left alone. Also, they are beginning to teethe, so I assume they are fussy about that too. ( I must admit, I expected worse) I am pretty good at catching all of these things before it escalates but these days the boys personalities are developing and man, Zachary hates to be left alone for too long. This morning, I was trying to get a little bit of a work out, (another frustration to add to my growing list) his father was getting ready for work so we put him in the crib assuming he'd fall right asleep since he was tired. He barely slept the night before. Not so. As soon as I put him in the crib and left the room the whining started. It crescendoed and didn't stop until about an hour later when I broke down, came back into the room and picked him up and put him in the living room where he could see me. His father tells me to just leave him alone. He thought the boy would fall asleep shortly because he had just been fed.
"Leave him," he tells me. "He knows you'll come running the minute he does that. He'll be fine. Go work out."
I did...for about five minutes until the crying became unbearable. And this is becoming the routine these days. He just won't fall asleep. Then, he wakes his brother Noah up. Noah is pretty calm. He doesn't get all whiny when mom or dad leaves the room. He's content as long as he has something to do. When I left the room, Zach was wailing and Noah was sleeping. Now, Noah was awake because his brother woke him. I feel bad for my little Noah because I'm always going to Zachary to calm him down, but Noah's a good boy. He always gives me this knowing smile. Like he's giving me permission to do what I have to do. But this is short-lived. At the time of writing, Zach begins wailing again. I look down at him and say a few words and he stops and smiles, for a second. I start writing again...the wailing starts until I pick him up and he starts to giggle with glee. This is a problem. Noah is not so accomodating this time. He starts to object to my holding Zach but then he manages to occupy himself-in fact he has just gave me a reassuring smile, though it was underscored by a brief whine. A warning...
Needless to say Zach sits in my lap as i type with one finger-for the moment he is subdued and drooling all over me-gross. but now, Noah has had enough. And so have I. Zach is starting up again and I feel like throwing both of them in the hamper. (Noah has joined his brother in the symphony of tears) Maybe their hungry-it looks about that time. Once again I beg forgiveness for any errors. I have no time to proof read. Only write.
Sorrll about you now. Why the hell won't you stay asleep?
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